My Beautiful Phillip I cannot believe I am in the world and he isnt.
Monday 12 November 2012
Philippe Ruston By Gillian Hammmerton In Amsterdam
Philippe Ruston By Gillian Hammmerton In Amsterdam
Philippe Rushton Amsterdam Airport taken by Gillian Hammerton
Its unbelievable that Phil is no longer in the world .He was incredible a fire of life.I couldnt follow him to Canada because I had spent 5 years training as a lawyer and he wanted to go back to Canada,but he was always some where in my heart.I lived with him in the days when he had no troubles except to raise his son and to study and to travel.I thought he thought those times would be forever but ofcourse they were not.My parents had died when I was 6 years old and I had put everything against the odds in becoming a barrister.But i did a psychology degree at Birkbeck University in the eveningover 4 years because of his inspiation.He was good to my son ,he seemed to love him.When he had returned to Canada on the rebound I fell in love with my older pupil master (law teacher responsible for my training) in the Attorney General's chambers.II became pregnant and David Cocks QC embarrassed by the then position where women in my position where with few rights or consideration and prey to gross injustice and distain,was abandoned by David Cocks QC,who after a years affair abandoned me when 3 months pregnant,and abandoned his son,denying paternity on oath.Sir Derek Spencer Solicitor General insisted I went to court to establish the truth in the Affiliation court.But for Sir Derek,who gave evidence Nicholas Wilson QC,now a member of the Supreme Court the highest court in England who did the legal work bro bono and Philipe I would have been in a totally unsupportable postion.The worst was the cruelty of David Cocks abadoning his son,even when on a life support machine,he said to Sir Derek Spencer that he couldnt care less and would never give him a penny piece a nickle or a dime and would never see him.Eventually he gave the child £16 a week and nothing at all ever to me.The reason I mention this is Phil was supportive.When David Cocks QC got his wife to write and say hewas too busy and important to give any time to his son ,Phil flew over,busy as he was,for his birthday.He gave the boy confidence.He would pick him up and say "I wish you were my son."
I am so grateful for Phil for this.David Cocks had no notion or care that I had struggled on no money to become a barrister,he was unfeeling to his own son,he spoke against me and against his child as if we had no value . Phil understood my passion for learning and my passion to come from a postion of weakness made by ambition and determination into a postion of strenght.This is why I loved and will always love Phil.He was a good man,he was brilliant but came from a postion where he was unsupported by his father,I resued him,taking him and his son from their appalling room inthe eastend and using grandads (Admiral Blackler Blackler) money to purchase the lease on the flat in Doughty Street,near the Dicken's House,(sadly being persuaded by him to let only him put his name on the lease so I eventual had no standig on it after he returned to Canada).But I was able to help Phil and Stephen,taking him to school,cooking baby sitting while doing my law degree.But it was like a Dicken's novel and I had a good career have been able to help many people and Phil paid me back in the best possible way by loving my son in the limits of distance,making him feel he was something,agaist his fathers distain.
Phil with My son at London Zoo.
Philippe Rushton with David
Phil Rushton Humane and Caring Iconic Paternal figure to the child David Cocks QC Head of the Attorney General's Chambers Abandoned ,so this for this alone I love him forever
Philipe Rushton by Gillian Hammerton : He Left No Time To Regret
Back to black , we never said good bye ,without my guy
Philippe Rushton by Gillian Hammerton.Back To Black : I Loved You So
Without my guy,back to black after all we went through
we only said good by
I loved you so and I go back to black
Gillian Hammerton Taken by Phillippe Rushton,and Philippe Rushton by Gillian The Acropolis
Gillian Hammerton Taken by Phillippe Rushton,The Acropolis
Phillippe Rushton taken by Gillian hammerton The Acropolis
Philippe Rushton Back To Black by Gillian Hammerton
Philippe Rushton Back To Black by Gillian Hammerton
We Never said goodbye
My beautiful Phillip Rushton in Our Hay Days In Greece By Gillian Hammerton
Phil was a man of enormous adventure,intelligence, spirit and fun.He definately was the love of my life but as I had trained to be a lawyer in England and he wanted to go back to Canada romance ended and friendship sustained,mostly for we did not have the same political beliefs,my life became determined to focus on my career,as a barrister but he inspired me to take a psychology degree in the evening at Birkbeck College,University of London,which was amazing,and later an Msc in Pschology of Education at The Institute of Education.I thank him for this inspiration,for I became passionately fascinated by the human mind and human behaviour,but my views were not the same as his.I felt he perhaps should have been more concerned with the indigenous people their rich culture and the injustice of those without the power and audience which education and fortune had given him,but that said he was extraordinary with a giant of intellectual capacity ,but perhaps lacking a bit in common sense and the bigger picture.Frankly I think he was more at home in England and shouldnt have taken on the world.A quiet studious life being cared for,he never could cook well ,being made a fuss of and ruling the roost,but who am I to say.He was wonderful to my son whose father David Cocks QC,my older pupilmaster, abandoned as he was too busy and too important and too distanful of the responsibility of fatherhood ,and when my son rang his father who had refused to meet him when he rang him to meet the child for his birthday (the boy had never been allowed to see him and had been given only £16 a week maintenance to live on by this extremely rich prosecutor ) and he was told off for imposing ,Phil flew over hugged him, smothered him with presents and love.Now what ever you say that is a true man and a splendidly moral human being.For that I love him and always will.We did have a splendid time together and I thank the heavens for the privilege of knowing him.He was a good man.
Phillip Rushton and Gillian Hammerton Floating About in The Dead Sea Having a Whale of a Time
Phil had wanted to see where I had spent my time after my grandad died (my parents died when I was 6).I had read about the Holocaust and Anne Franks Diary and Lawrence of Arabia The Seven Pillars of Wisdom
Phillip travelling in Israel with Gillian without a care except where was the next ride.An amazing trek an amazing companion.
Phillip swimming in the Red Sea taken by Gillian Hammerton.
Philippe Rushton by the Red Sea : Photo taken by Gillian Hammerton.
Philippe Rushton by the Red Sea completely happy and completely beautiful.His capacity for observation was immense and enthralling photo taken by Gillian Hammerton.We slept on the beach and made camp fires and fell asleep listening to the waves when it became too dark to read and exhausted by our travels.Sometimes we were woken by stray camels on the beach.There ws utterly no light about,it was truly pitch dark,with the strangest of sounds unearthly in this strange and ancient and magical land.
Philippe Rushton in Israel taken by Gillian Hammerton
Phillip travelling in Israel with Gillian without a care except where was the next ride.An amazing trek an amazing companion.
Philippe Rushton and Gillian Hammerton Floating About in The Dead Sea Having a Whale of a Time
Phil had wanted to see where I had spent my time after my grandad died (my parents died when I was 6).I had read about the Holocaust and Anne Franks Diary and Lawrence of Arabia The Seven Pillars of Wisdom
Philippe Rushton swimming in the Red Sea taken by Gillian Hammerton.
Philippe Rushton swimming in the Red Sea taken by Gillian Hammerton.
Philippe Rushton by the Red Sea : Photo taken by Gillian Hammerton.
Philippe Rushton by the Red Sea : Photo taken by Gillian Hammerton.
Philippe Rushton by the Red Sea completely happy and completely beautiful.His capacity for observation was immense and enthralling photo taken by Gillian Hammerton.We slept on the beach and made camp fires and fell asleep listening to the waves when it became too dark to read and exhausted by our travels.Sometimes we were woken by stray camels on the beach.There ws utterly no light about,it was truly pitch dark,with the strangest of sounds unearthly in this strange and ancient and magical land.
Philippe Rushton camping under the Eucalyptus Trees On The Beach at The Edge Of The Dead Sea Taken By Gillian Hammerton Travelling Companion
Phil just waking up on the beach of the Dead Sea under the Eucalyptus Trees in the blazing sun ready almost for a salt swim .
Phtograph taken By Gillian Hammerton travelling companion
Phillippe Rushton In Greece Among The Ancient Ruins in Happier Days : Photograph By Gillian Hammerton
Phillippe Rushton In Greece Among The Ancient Ruins in Happier Days :
Photograph By Gillian Hammerton
We had an amazing time in Greece,Phil was a wonderful travelling companion,untroubled interested in everything ancient and new.My grandad,Admiral Blackler had left me some money and we used it to travel and explore . He was very happy then and carefree.I feel that stress of his life in later time after he had left England when he explored the unexplorable the dark aspect were the cause of great worry,to him and to others.He had such amazing promise and intellect charm and looks,in a way I wish he had remained in england where he was so happy.I may be speaking out of turn but I am devestated by his early demise,he was no age at all.
Tuesday 6 November 2012
Philippe Rushton You Could Have Done Something Better You Had Such Potential For Brilliance and Now
I cannot describe how amazingly happy and brilliant Phil was when we were studying together, he at Birkbeck studying pyschology I law at UCL
He had a young son Stephen,a delight and Phillip adored him..He was caring and generous,but on his own terms.I had heard him say that he has a daughter by Margaret and assured me she was well cared for,but he never persued it ,even though I pleaded with him.It haunts me that he neglected her and what I have read about her is that she is amazing,to have survived what she did.
I hope and pray that Phil has decently left at least half of his wealth to her to make up for the hurt..We stayed friends but I moved on and had a beautiful son of my own,whose corner I had to fight (are all men gruesome fathers).I became a barrister and fought the good fight when I could and studied in the evening psychology at Birkbeck (inspired by Phil ),mother,barrister and student at the same time.I obtained a Bsc and Msc in Psychology and could not, would not, see that marginalising people as he and my son's father,by his rejection of his son,was the moral order of the universe.This was reinforced when I later did a Msc in Ecology and Development at SOAS and Human Rights LLM at London University,and a Classics masters at UCL.I say this because I think Phil got too bogged down.But that all said I really loved him and admired his intelligence,but knew people were fair game to him .He used my money for our home in Doughty Street,near the Dickens House,and put just his name on the lease pleading he had a son and needed the secuirity,but thats water under the bridge and I was glad to get him and his son out the awful room in the eastend.I say this because Phil did suffer greatly bringing up his son alone on almost no money in England a strange land for him.His mother was amazing gentle and kind,his father on the other hand couldnt understand Phil and there was a deep aggression between them,which Phil felt sorely and I have always thought that was what drove him.
I just wish he had used his brilliant brain for research which could have added to the sum of human happiness,not hurt so many people. I think he lost a lot of people who could have loved him greatly as he travelled to the dark side.But some part of me cannot yet quite let go.He was like a brilliant child a dazzling wonder,but you knew somehow he had got it wrong and it would somehow all end in tears.I think he hated being hated and that the stress entrenched him.I feel sorry for his son,but his father loved him,and feel so proud of his achievements,and his beautiful daughter wow she is amazing to have done so well I applaud her,and in the end she is a great winner and must have captured her fathers heart when he met her,and how he must have regretted those lost years.
He had a young son Stephen,a delight and Phillip adored him..He was caring and generous,but on his own terms.I had heard him say that he has a daughter by Margaret and assured me she was well cared for,but he never persued it ,even though I pleaded with him.It haunts me that he neglected her and what I have read about her is that she is amazing,to have survived what she did.
I hope and pray that Phil has decently left at least half of his wealth to her to make up for the hurt..We stayed friends but I moved on and had a beautiful son of my own,whose corner I had to fight (are all men gruesome fathers).I became a barrister and fought the good fight when I could and studied in the evening psychology at Birkbeck (inspired by Phil ),mother,barrister and student at the same time.I obtained a Bsc and Msc in Psychology and could not, would not, see that marginalising people as he and my son's father,by his rejection of his son,was the moral order of the universe.This was reinforced when I later did a Msc in Ecology and Development at SOAS and Human Rights LLM at London University,and a Classics masters at UCL.I say this because I think Phil got too bogged down.But that all said I really loved him and admired his intelligence,but knew people were fair game to him .He used my money for our home in Doughty Street,near the Dickens House,and put just his name on the lease pleading he had a son and needed the secuirity,but thats water under the bridge and I was glad to get him and his son out the awful room in the eastend.I say this because Phil did suffer greatly bringing up his son alone on almost no money in England a strange land for him.His mother was amazing gentle and kind,his father on the other hand couldnt understand Phil and there was a deep aggression between them,which Phil felt sorely and I have always thought that was what drove him.
I just wish he had used his brilliant brain for research which could have added to the sum of human happiness,not hurt so many people. I think he lost a lot of people who could have loved him greatly as he travelled to the dark side.But some part of me cannot yet quite let go.He was like a brilliant child a dazzling wonder,but you knew somehow he had got it wrong and it would somehow all end in tears.I think he hated being hated and that the stress entrenched him.I feel sorry for his son,but his father loved him,and feel so proud of his achievements,and his beautiful daughter wow she is amazing to have done so well I applaud her,and in the end she is a great winner and must have captured her fathers heart when he met her,and how he must have regretted those lost years.
Saturday 3 November 2012
Phil Rushton in His Happier Days
Phil was incredibly romatic.I quess we lived happily and academically,I a law student,and he a dedicated uncontroversial academic,there was no signs of interest in racial differences in fact he gave me a book entitled If They Come in the Morning: Voices of Resistance by Angela Davis one of his heroes,which he signed to me.I came from a background different from him,my grandfather was an Admiral and my cousin Keeper of Paleontology in the Natural History Museum my granmother a Canadian who met my grandad at a officers ball in Victoria .I loved the way Phil was a dedicated father to his son and was managing on his own.He caught my heart strings but especially his dedication to his son.Because my mothers death when I was 6 years of age, I was very empathetic to Stephen his son a young boy and was happy to help nuture him,hence though I provided the money for the Doughty Street Flat (59 Doughty Street ) I was open to susceptibility and let Phillippe persuade me to have only his name on the lease ,which I later regreted as I could have kept it during my early days as a barrister and he has returned to Canada.
I know Phil tough as he seems to the world, was also vunerable as well as very determined,determined to educate himself to protect and make a home for his son,which given my background,ambitions and academic determination meant I fitted the bill.
I could not cross the Atlantic with Phillip because I spent 5 years training as a lawyer,but in a way perhaps I should have perhaps things would have been different he didnt have those research interests when he was with me he was interested in ..
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