He had a young son Stephen,a delight and Phillip adored him..He was caring and generous,but on his own terms.I had heard him say that he has a daughter by Margaret and assured me she was well cared for,but he never persued it ,even though I pleaded with him.It haunts me that he neglected her and what I have read about her is that she is amazing,to have survived what she did.
I hope and pray that Phil has decently left at least half of his wealth to her to make up for the hurt..We stayed friends but I moved on and had a beautiful son of my own,whose corner I had to fight (are all men gruesome fathers).I became a barrister and fought the good fight when I could and studied in the evening psychology at Birkbeck (inspired by Phil ),mother,barrister and student at the same time.I obtained a Bsc and Msc in Psychology and could not, would not, see that marginalising people as he and my son's father,by his rejection of his son,was the moral order of the universe.This was reinforced when I later did a Msc in Ecology and Development at SOAS and Human Rights LLM at London University,and a Classics masters at UCL.I say this because I think Phil got too bogged down.But that all said I really loved him and admired his intelligence,but knew people were fair game to him .He used my money for our home in Doughty Street,near the Dickens House,and put just his name on the lease pleading he had a son and needed the secuirity,but thats water under the bridge and I was glad to get him and his son out the awful room in the eastend.I say this because Phil did suffer greatly bringing up his son alone on almost no money in England a strange land for him.His mother was amazing gentle and kind,his father on the other hand couldnt understand Phil and there was a deep aggression between them,which Phil felt sorely and I have always thought that was what drove him.
I just wish he had used his brilliant brain for research which could have added to the sum of human happiness,not hurt so many people. I think he lost a lot of people who could have loved him greatly as he travelled to the dark side.But some part of me cannot yet quite let go.He was like a brilliant child a dazzling wonder,but you knew somehow he had got it wrong and it would somehow all end in tears.I think he hated being hated and that the stress entrenched him.I feel sorry for his son,but his father loved him,and feel so proud of his achievements,and his beautiful daughter wow she is amazing to have done so well I applaud her,and in the end she is a great winner and must have captured her fathers heart when he met her,and how he must have regretted those lost years.
